It's Not Like School At Home (Unless... it is)

a defense of the least popular homeschool method

“For us, homeschooling isn’t doing school at home, it’s a whole lifestyle of learning! It’s a way of life!”

“The first thing I tell new homeschoolers is you don’t have to make it look like school at home!”

“Homeschooling is nothing like school at home.”

I came across another one of these again today. Homeschoolers love to talk about (and talk shit about) this phrase “school at home.” The idea is that some people may think that in order to educate their kids at home, they have to recreate what’s happening in the average school classroom. But not to worry! More seasoned homeschoolers are here to correct them! And you know what? There’s some merit to this idea. After all, a whole lot of people turn to home education because they don’t like what’s happening in classrooms! And when people first begin to educate at home, it may be that school is the only paradigm they’ve ever considered for children learning the things they need to learn. Some people really do need a little help to “think outside the box” so to speak. Sure.

But.

We are way beyond gently encouraging parents to be creative and not rush out to buy desks and line them up in rows. In most of the homeschool spaces I’ve been in, “school at home” is practically a strawman. It’s the most hated and derided of educational methodologies, and basically no one will admit to doing it.

Seeing yet another “homeschooling is not the same as school at home!” post on social media made me want to offer a mild defense of the concept. Because while it’s true that we should analyze our assumptions about learning and that learning doesn’t have to look like what’s happening in the classroom, that truth goes both ways.

Just because something happens in classrooms doesn’t mean it’s all bad, and doesn’t mean it’s not learning.

So here it is, your permission to do “school at home” if it works for you! And here are six reasons that your home education might look a bit more like school than some folks are comfortable with other than what they seem to assume (you’re brainwashed, naturally).

1. You and/or your children want and/or need a consistent and predictable routine.

“We don’t have a school schedule, because learning happens all the time!”
That’s nice, but most kids thrive on some level of predictability, and some more than others. Some adults too! A consistent and reliable routine can help us to feel safe and calm, which aside from just being a good way to feel, can make it easier to focus and you know, learn stuff. As an autistic parent, if my day has a reliable and consistent pattern to it, I feel ok, but if it feels unpredictable, I feel confused, hazy, and panicky, all day. It puts me on edge and makes me more likely to lose my temper. I am not a good teacher under those circumstances!

But you don’t have to have a particular neurodivergence to benefit from a regular schedule, lots of people just seem to prefer it that way, and you know what? That’s fine. It doesn’t make you incapable of being spontaneous (although I might be!). It doesn’t make you a stick in the mud. If it feels good for you and your family to have a schedule, there’s no reason not to do it.

Also, we live in capitalism and a whole lot of us work at least part time while home educating. That may mean that being ready to help your kids learn on the fly 24/7 just isn’t possible for you, even if you would otherwise be cool with that lifestyle.

The fact that you do not have to have a strict schedule to homeschool does not mean that there are no benefits to a consistent routine.

2. You and/or your children enjoy having dedicated space for learning.

A lot of homeschooling families do most of their “book work” at the dining table, and that’s fine and good. A lot of kids may move around throughout the day, all over the house, doing “school stuff.” This is also fine! Kids do half their work outside? Awesome! In the car! That’s chill as long as they don’t get motion sickness.

But some people like having a dedicated space. A “classroom” if you will. And you know what? Those people just like it! It doesn’t mean they’re not creative or are too rigid or whatever else you may have heard about the boogeyman of “school at home.”

Why might you want dedicated space? Maybe it means you have a room in which you can leave our half finished projects and experiments without having them in the general living space! Maybe it just makes sense with the layout of your home. Or maybe it’s a helpful mental cue for you or the kids like “when we go through this door, we’re in learning mode.” I put specific background sounds on on my headphones when I need to focus on certain types of tasks. Having a “classroom space” works the same way for lots of people.

3. The structure just works for your kids’ learning styles.

We’ve all met those kids who push back against every single curriculum. Being told what to do pisses them off, and they struggle to focus on anything that looks or feels like “school work” even when they try. But you know what? All kids are different. Some kids love curriculum. Some kids relax into a well planned lesson. Some kids like for things to be strucutured, to have clear goals, and to work towards them.

Teaching those kids is going to look a good deal more “schoolish.”

4. Scheduling around extracurriculars and work schedules may mean “school hours” are the best time to “do school.”

One thing about educating at home that many homeschoolers love to celebrate is the flexible schedule. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, so why would you do education from nine to three? I’ve known families where the older kids do most of their school work in the evening, when the littler kids have already gone to bed so they aren’t bugging them. A whole lot of families school with a “checklist” method. They know they’re going to do math and language arts at some point today, but who knows when! They’ll get to it when they get to it. And then there are the many homeschoolers who brag that they are done with school by noon every day. “That way we have the afternoon for fun.”

All of that is fine, if it works. And yes, it’s true that the hours and days that kids tend to be in school aren’t necessarily the best for learning for everyone (but often correlate to the hours a lot of folks need childcare). But guess what? Some people end up doing their homeschool stuff during “regular school hours.” If kids want to participate in afterschool activities with kids who do go to school, they can’t be doing school during those times! And while yes there’s no reason kids need to do schoolwork five days a week per se, if one of their parents works a M-F 9-5 you may want to leave weekends open for family time.

And while some families may be able to power through everything before lunch, others are going to need regular breaks in order to focus, and that stretches thing out considerably. If you are spreading lessons out throughout the day, you may end up deciding “we want to be done by 4 because of soccer” or whatever! And it’s fine, just like it’s fine if you do school in the evening or whatever else!

5. Skills practice requires regularity and review. For some kids this is even more needed.

Kids can learn so many cool things by following their interests! But now, if you’ve been here awhile, you know what I’m going to bring up next: reading. Some kids can and will teach themselves to read (my partner did at age) but others can’t and won’t. Most kids need some help with reading, and reading isn’t just one skill, it’s a complex blending of multiple skills and all of those skills require practice.

For some kids, it’s a lot of practice. And that’s ok! And they may not always be self motivated to do it, and you know what? That’s ok too. An educator’s job is to give kids tools, and part of that is saying “I know you might not want to practice phonics today, but I also know that when you practice every day, it gets easier.”

While it’s true that homeschooling overall takes less time than the typical school day, it’s also true that how much less time varies. Sometimes to work on skills practice (spelling, reading, math, handwriting, etc) it requires a fuller day and a day that looks more like school than what many home educators prefer.

6. Assessments can be helpful for measuring some things, and they don’t have to be traumatic or scary.

Ok, we’re talking about tests! Most home educators seem to hate them and put them off as long as possible. And you know what? That has been me. I’ve watched the educational system become more and more obsessed with assessment and standardized tests, to the point where teachers have to “teach to the test” most of the year, and I’ve seen how it frustrates everyone. I’m fortunate to have one child, and a lot of the time I can tell how she’s doing on a subject by simply paying attention.

But some homeschoolers do test! And that doesn’t make them evil or whatever. Tests are there to measure things and they can be useful. And one thing that I have recently learned is that if you don’t put a lot of pressure on tests and treat them like the be all end all of whether or not a kid is “good” or “smart” or whatever, they don’t necessarily stress kids out.

When my child attended school this year, she had to take a standardized test. It was explained to her that it was simply to measure where she was at in various subjects so that the teachers would know how best ot help her. Now when I was a kid, I understood that the point of tests was to do as well as possible, and that if I didn’t do excellent I would be in trouble. But my kid? She believed them! They told her she could take as long as she needed and it didn’t matter how she did.

Reader, she said the test was “kind of fun.”

She took the longest in her class. And then we got the results. And much to my shock, they were interesting and useful to me! She was much further along in reading than I expected. My own assessment of her just by watchin her in lessons, that was subjective. But the test wasn’t, or at least not in the same way. We may test again in the spring!

***

It’s true that home education doesn’t have to look the same as classroom education, and you do not have to do all six of these things, anymore than you have to rush out and buy desks and workbooks! Most people don’t do them all, in fact. You may have a set schedule, but no homeschooling space. You may do a lot of typical classroom things but do them entirely on your own timeline. Hell, you could even go totally interest led learning but then test twice a year!

But whatever you do or don’t do, when the “it doesn’t have to be school at home!” homeschoolers come for you, I’ll be here to back you up with a hearty “yeah but doesn’t doesn’t have to not be that either!”

Over the years, I have found our homeschool looking an awful lot like “school at home.” While we don’t have one dedicated space, we do have a beloved chalkboard! And yeah, we school approximately 9am to 3pm, with lots of breaks for movement and meals in there. When my daughter briefly attended school, she loved the academics, and when she returned to home education the first thing she asked for was more “classes” per day. That’s shifting a bit now, and that’s ok too. The point is that the flexibility of home education is cool and useful, but to actually be flexible it has to include the option of doing the “normal” thing too.

To put it another way, sometimes you think outside the box, and then realize the box is actually a pretty good size and shape for your purpose.

About Happy Holidays...

We can use language to be more inclusive, but we can also not do that.

To meet me now - a 38 year old transgender father, home educator, curriculum creator, semi-professional writer, cat dude - it might not occur to you that I was once a huge lover of boybands. You’d be forgiven for assuming that I was a cool alterna-teen (I wasn’t) or even a bit butch (I REALLY wasn’t). I promise this is going somewhere. At age 14 I was utterly and completely obsessed with *NSYNC (yes you are supposed to spell it with the astrix thank you I know what I’m doing!) and of course, they had that Christmas album, with my spouse and child’s least favorite song that I still love to make them listen to once a year, Merry Christmas Happy Holidays.

To my fourteen year old ears, it sounded so inclusive! Even though the album also features religious Christmas songs (a stunning acapella version of O Holy Night, if you haven’t heard it) and Under My Tree, a song about literally fucking under a Christmas tree for some reason, the fact that they tacked on a “Happy Holidays!” was so good of them. And they have that bit in the bridge: No matter what your holiday/ it’s a time to celebrate/ so put your worries aside/ and open up your mind/ see the world right by your side/ it’s Christmas time. See? Inclusive! No matter what your holiday! Never mind that not everyone’s major holidays are in December and that the last line still proclaims the dominance of Christmas. It’s worth mentioning that when I was still pretty young my parents moved to a very white bread suburb, I first knowingly met a Jewish person at age 18.

The point is that the phrase “Happy Holidays” can be used in many different ways. There is a type of Christian who assumes that if they hear the phrase “Happy Holidays” it is someone being “politically correct” or “afraid to even say Christmas!” There is an assumption that “you can’t even say Christmas anymore!”

Many of us have, for years, been somewhat baffled by this willful ignorance. Obviously you can still say Christmas? Christmas is still everyone in these United States, it still reigns supreme like the one ring over the other December holidays! (yes we are still deep in LOTR, thanks for asking) When I say “Happy Holidays!” I am merely mentioning that there are quite a few different holidays and that I do not know what holidays the recipient may celebrate. It includes Christmas but not only Christmas. It’s a more inclusive, though imperfect greeting.

Yet, there is a second usage of “Happy Holidays!” that is less inclusive and serves to annoy both non-Christians and those who are afraid of a “war on Christmas” alike. A good friend of mine complains about this every year. It’s saying “Happy Holidays” when you actually really are in fact just talking about exclusively Christmas.

Order by December 15th for shipping in time for the Holidays!

Saying “Happy Holidays” when you would have otherwise said “Merry Christmas” can be any easy way to be more inclusive. But inclusivity is, unfortunately, not always easy. It may take a person effort to know when the other holidays take place. This is why I advise people to not take what I think of as the *NSYNC approach. Chanukah’s been over for a bit, for example. And no Islamic holy days that I’m aware took place in December of 2023.

Why am I talking about this? Well, the other day, I had an interesting interaction with a social media manager for a small curriclum company. You may be aware that the world of home education in the United States leans conservative and Christian overall. And even though I tend to follow secular creators, I was still inundated with Christmas crap. It was all “this Christmas, give your kids the gift of education, buy our curriculum!” type stuff from every angle. And while some promotional messaging did substitute “holidays” or “holiday” for “Christmas,” it was so clearly just that. A substitution.

So when I saw a post that was literally about the phrase “Happy Holidays” on December 26th that started with “I know Christmas is over but…” and continued to address the reader as if Christmas was obviously the only holiday they would care about… I mean for crying out loud “happy holidays” is plural! I kind of flipped out. I left a comment. I said I was dissapointed.

And I got a response. I didn’t get screenshots and I actually don’t want to put this company on blast, but essentially the response I got was all defensiveness. I was told that I was intolerant, among other things.

But here’s the funny thing that happened. The social media person who responded in a huff to my comment? She and I talked. It turns out that she celebrates Christmas but had been feeling pressure (I’m not sure from where) to make all of the companies social media posts “generic and about the holidays.” Now, the posts were all obviously about Christmas! She was doing the *NSYNC version of inclusion. But she was working really hard at it, and feeling kind of sad that she didn’t feel like she could even mention her own special holiday (Christmas).

So when she got my comment, she was like “I work so hard and people are still mad at me!”

Here is the thing.

If we listen to narratives about inclusion from only dominant culture, we get at best an incomplete view. We hear “you can’t say x anymore, you can only say y!”

But when we listen to a diversity of perspectives we get a lot more. I’d rather you say “Christmas” when you mean “Christmas!” But it’s nice if you also acknowledge other holidays too, you know? A more inclusive approach isn’t to brand all your Christmas content with “Happy Holidays,” it’s to mention Chanukah, and Kwanzaa, and the Winter Solstice.

Christmas may be over (for the majority, some Christians celebrate later) but the holiday season isn’t. And the lesson that inclusivity is more than just replacing one word or phrase with another is a good one for the whole year.

A Journey Through The Hobbit

On the fence about purchasing the block guide? Here's a sample lesson!

If you follow me on social media, you may alredy know that for the month of December everything in my shop is 33% off. Just use the code “wonderland” at checkout! It’s my biggest sale ever! I’m trying to wrap up my next block guide (it’s so cool) while the sale is still on, plus some smaller goodies. But in the meantime, I thought folks deserved a peak into what you’ll get in A Journey Through the Hobbit.

What follows is a look at two lessons from the third week of A Journey Through The Hobbit. The block includes so much more, four full lessons per week, ideas for extending it to five lessons if you choose, guidance on art and supplies, and several full step by step art instructions. If you like what you see, remember, it’s 33% off this month, making it only around twenty bucks. I think literature blocks are the perfect way to ease back into school in January if you take a break in December like we do, so now’s a great time to try it out.

Week Three - Day One

1. Warm Up

2. Review: 

Main Lesson Book based: Part of the beauty of the main lesson book system is how it encourages review. Pull out the book/s, get comfortable, and look over all of last week’s work together. Wow, they did a lot! What are their favorite parts? Usually this will get kids talking about the story. It’s a nice way to come back to it after a few days off.

You can also do this type of review at any time the child/ren are so inclined. If you get the opportunity, it works even better if someone who isn’t typically around for lessons is present, like a co-parent or partner, grandparent, or family friend. Kids usually then get very excited about telling the story the same way they want to share every detail of cartoons or movies.

3. Reading: Chapter 11, On The Doorstep

4. Transition Time

5. Lesson Activity: Runic Inscription. Tolkein pulled a lot of inspiration from history, including the use of runes.

There are many books available on runes, as well as quite a lot of information online. At the time of this writing, there is a great resource available from the Tolkein society (https://www.tolkiensociety.org/app/uploads/2016/11/Runes.pdf). It is entirely up to you how deeply you want to dive into runes. The main thing is to know which sounds the runes stand for.

Have the learners write (and possibly decorate) their own runic inscription in their main lesson books. This is an unfamiliar writing system, so expect children to write le

ss in runes than they typically do in standard English. Runes were originally carved into stone or wood. Do they want to lightly color the page to make it look like stone first? Or write their runes on a colored piece of paper and then glue it in? There are a lot of fun options.

Week Three - Day Two

1. Warm Up

2. Review: Use any combination of the review options below, depending on the age and abilities of the child/ren in your care. Afterwards they should have something written on the page opposite the runic inscription. If you have children still learning to write, help them to create a large Ll on the page, for “lonely mountain.”

Discussion based: Briefly discuss what the child/ren remember. Don’t be afraid to jump in and supply some details.
Copywork based: Here are three copywork options.

1. The Lonely Mountain

2. It was easier to believe in the Dragon and less easy to believe in Thorin in these wild parts.

3. He would often borrow Thorin’s map and gaze at it, pondering over the runes and the message of the moon-letters Elrond had read. It was he that made the dwarves begin the dangerous search on the western slopes for the secret door.

Point out any spelling rules, grammar rules, or other things you have recently learned that show up in your passage.

Summary based: Ask the child/ren what they remember about the story, and don’t be afraid to jump in with your own remembered details. Keep this conversation short. Then, ask them to summarize the chapter in their own words. This is a skill that takes time and practice, and that’s fine. Help them along as needed if this is new to them.You can choose to have older children write this down directly, or you can scribe their spoken summary, and have them copy it into the main lesson book in their best hand.

3. Reading: Chapter 12, Inside Information

4. Transition Time

5. Lesson Activity: It’s Smaug day. That’s right, it’s time to draw the dragon! Let your dragons fill up a whole two-page spread in the main lesson books. Remember, Smaug is huge! This is the time to pull out your dragon book if you have one, and/or look up some dragon images online. I like to give a lot of freedom for this one because most kids are pretty excited about it and may have an idea of how they want to do it already. If you want to offer some guidance, just start with the wide side of a red crayon, lay out the general shape, and then go in for the details slowly.

Leave some space to label him tomorrow.

Here’s the link to purchase again, and don’t forget to use code ‘wonderland’ at checkout for 33% off!

My kid is on me to do a block guide for The Lord of the Rings, but I said it would have to be several guides because its so freaking long. What do ya’ll think?