Against Purity
No true Scotsmen, amirite?
I hope your summer is going great! Sorry (or you’re welcome?) that I haven’t graced your inbox in ages. I’ve found it really hard to write in this space for a number of reasons one of which is that the letter “g” has stopped working on my laptop, but I’m hoping to snap myself out of it.
If I say I’m “readin and writin” instead of “reading and writing” please know I’m not tryin to folksy.
Our family had a really tough season this spring, and in the midst of grief over losing our dog and a member of our community, we had to make a decision. Decisions are… not my thing. I much prefer the weighing of options to the actual deciding part! And like most people, I really struggle when I know something is the right choice, but it isn’t the choice I want to make.
So, we enrolled our kid in a local school for next fall.
To say my feelings are mixed about it is the understatement of the year. I love my child, and I have absolutely adored teaching her these past three years. I’ve learned so much and she’s learned so much and we’ve both grown and thrived in ways I had never imagined. It’s been absolutely wonderful. But those weren’t the only things to consider. There’s also the fact that living on a single income isn’t really viable for my family anymore, and while many homeschoolers manage to work (even full time) and teach their kids at the same time, I’ve not done great at that thus far. There’s also the fact that we have an only child with very high social needs. Even with three extracurriculars and a weekly homeschool meetup in the mix, I often heard about how lonely my child was.
You can only hear your kid say “I need to be with other kids!” so many times before you say “ok, let’s put you in the place where they put the kids and see what happens.”
Some of my favorite homeschooling parents have not homeschooled K-12 entirely. Maybe they’ve sent one kid to school who really wanted to go, or maybe they had an illness that made it impossible for them to give their children’s education the attention it deserved for a year. One of my favorite things about the secular homeschooling community in particular is how flexible it is. Parents aren’t always married to one educational approach for every child forever, they recognize that circumstances change, needs change, and abilities change. These parents are truly an inspiration for letting go of dogma and embracing the complexity of life.
But… for myself? I didn’t want to do it. And I really didn’t want to tell people I was doing it. I had fallen pray to identifying as a homeschooler, as a homeschooling father, and this shift would mean giving up that identity. I also just, frankly, really liked homeschooling. And then there was another fear: people would stop takin me seriously.
As I edit my curriculum components that ONE OF THESE DAYS will be up for sale on the internet, I wonder who on earth would buy those from a dude who is no longer home educating himself? As I look at my critiques of home school culture, both in specifics and in more general terms, I wonder if people will sneer that I am “not a real homeschooler” and therefore don’t know what I’m talking about? I mean, would you get a load of this guy, he tapped out in third grade! Pathetic!
I spent an embarrassing amount of time writing long winded partial posts justifying our family’s decision, trying to anticipate the criticisms and respond to them, and just overall being defensive as hell.
But you want to know the truth?
The truth is fuck all that.
I am allowed to have whatever opinions I have. I am allowed to share them. And I am allowed to critique a culture I’ve been part of for three very intense years, even if I don’t stay part of it forever.
I didn’t want to homeschool, I ended up absolutely loving it. If I am bein honest, I don’t really want to send my kid to school either. But I think it’s worth giving it a chance and so that is what we are doing. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised by school, the same way I was pleasantly surprised by homeschooling! Maybe I won’t be, time will tell.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep bein me, and that includes tearing things apart. I’ve got a ton of research on Charlotte Mason I absolutely cannot WAIT to share with y’all! I’ve got thoughts on Shiny Happy People! I have fun projects in the work that will undoubtedly take way longer than any time estimate I could give you, so I will try not to give any at all. I’m still here, I’m still writing, I’m still working. Am I still a homeschooler? Who knows! I’m certainly still invested in home education.
And I have two super cute kittens that love to interrupt now.
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