The Figure of The Mother in the Cult Documentary
Something a little different from our usual fair.
You know what’s always fascinated me? Cults. I tried to start one in the fifth grade (and many thanks to Mrs. Collar for putting the breaks on that project before any of my members could stir up trouble, I don’t imagine ten year old me was up for the control tactics I would have needed). And as a weirdo who never quite fit in they’ve always seemed somewhat dangerously appealing to me.
Over the last month or so, I’ve been consuming a lot of cult related media, because that’s how ADHD special interests work. For the purposes of analysis, the term high control group is often more useful than cult. Partly because it names where the harm is: it’s not fringe religious beliefs that are causing problems, it’s the level of control leaders assert over members’ lives. It’s also useful for defining when organizations cross a line that may not otherwise be obvious. For instance, groups may not live communally apart from society, but still dictate nearly every aspect of members’ day to day lives. Does your church tell you what kind of underwear to wear? That may be indicitive of a larger problem. Partly because the word “cult” has an older definition which I kind of wish we could bring back? But that’s not happening today, so we’re using the terms more or less interchangeably.
As I watched documentary after documentary, on groups such as Twin Flame Universe, Heaven’s Gate, and of course Love Has Won, something stood out to me. It also came up in the countless cult related podcasts I listened to. It’s the moms. I’m not talking about the women in these groups who had kids (though they’re fascinating too, maybe we’ll talk about them another day) but the moms of adult children who became involved with these groups.
Moms hold such a particular place in our culture, both idealized and blamed for fucking everything under the sun. We love moms, we hate moms, and we expect them to be forever long suffering.